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I fantasized about them fucking me anywhere, anyplace, anytime. I guess part of it was that my husband didn't want me anymore; he liked to hit me, so my head told me I deserved to be taken and used like a slut.It became very complicated, a sort of mixture of the need to be punished mixed with the sexual arousal that was all but consuming me. When a black man looked back at me, that made me feel better. He wanted me; why didn't Bobby?So I began to frequent places where I would be able to see or interact with the men in my fantasies. The local supermarket was first on my list. Black teenagers used the car park as a meeting point and the brazen way they looked at me when I arrived on a shopping trip was a real turn-on.After a while I started to tease them by dressing more provocatively—low cut tops, no bra, short skirts...There was a particular young guy I liked—he was eighteen or nineteen—who actually worked in the supermarket. I always made a point of using his till to check out my. "Lisa, Megan, and Sally all nodded as Kim described the way she felt about Paul. Secretly, Kim thought about her brother and the fact that he made her feel the same way."Well Kim," Yuko said. "That's exactly how I feel about Crystal. I don't feel those things when I see a guy, just Crystal." That's how I feel about Yuko too," Crystal said. "We enjoy doing the same things you guys do with your boyfriends. We like to go to the movies, out to dinner and just be together. Making love is just part of it." You mean looking at guys doesn't do anything for either of you?" Lisa asked them."No more than you looking at girls Lisa," Crystal said."I like to mess around with girls," Sally said."You like the sex, not taking walks on the beach holding hands, watching sunsets or just sitting quietly together. Those things you do with a guy... I do them with Yuko." Crystal tried to explain."What about last night?" Kim asked, feeling a little hurt."Last night was the first time Crystal and I ever did.
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