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‘The nightmares… They did something to me. The nightmares themselves didn’t seem that bad, but waking up, I was terrified, out of breath, feeling like I was having a heart attack.’ ‘Why didn’t you tell us this?’ Ronnie demanded, clearly angry at me. I shrugged. ‘I don’t know,’ I told him. ‘It’s a weakness. The day I’d first cut myself, a switch in my head had been flicked. Instead of feeling horror, I felt nothing. I became addicted to it. It was the only way to release the pressure that was feeling.’ ‘Damn it, Lance,’ Billy growled. ‘Look,’ I said. ‘I’m sorry, but at first, I didn’t think there was anything wrong with what I was doing. It felt normal to me.’ ‘Are you stupid?’ Ronnie demanded. ‘How could you possibly think that self mutilation is normal?’ ‘I’m sorry,’ I said again, ‘But I felt I had to deal with this on my own.’ ‘So what does Maranda say about all this?’ Dalton asked, curious. ‘She busted me. Saturday, at the Teen Center. She made me walk with her. She’s very. Why dad left was known only to him and he wasn't about to talk. My sister, who was a year younger than me, was a younger version of mum, maybe not quite so pretty, but still pleasant to look at. I was a little surprised at the tone of my thoughts towards my mother and sister and could only put it down to the fact that my girlfriend Dawn had not only refused my advances over the past few weeks, but also had finally given me the elbow the night before."Happy birthday Mark." My mothers voice said from the living room doorway.Bringing my thoughts back to the present I looked in her direction and smiled, she'd got herself all dolled up and had changed into her prettiest dress in an effort to cheer me up. Unfortunately the dress was very clingy and cut to reveal lots of leg and cleavage, the effect was to make me feel even more frustrated. Nevertheless I managed to smile cheerfully as she walked into the room with a tray of snacks and sandwiches which she placed on the sideboard, behind.
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