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"Now would I give a thousand furlongs of sea for an acre of barren ground, long heath, brown furze, anything."He reflected, in the midst of his continuing battle with nausea, that few of the present generation of semi literate kids in our God forsaken wreck of a once great country had ever, in the whole of their rotten, useless, miserable and hopefully short lives, read these words! And thanks to the craven, traitorous gang of cretinous Europhiles who ran the UK these days with their crazed infatuation with disgusting metric units, none of the snotty nosed, spaced out little bastards ( and that was literally the case with most of them these days!) would have the remotest idea what an acre or a furlong were!He was abruptly recalled from his curmudgeonly reflections by a high pitched noise coming from the equipment he had brought back from London.Thank God! Angela had come through! After all these weeks of waiting for something, the girl had done it! Splendid girl! True grit through. "OLD" IS WHEN ... Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face."OLD" IS WHEN ... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along."OLD" IS WHEN ... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police."OLD" IS WHEN..."Getting a little action" means you don't need to take any fiber today"OLD" IS WHEN... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot."OLD" IS WHEN ... An "all-nighter" means not getting up to use the bathroom.AND"OLD" IS WHEN ... You are not sure these are jokesThese are compliments of DennisThe North Dakota Department of Labor claimed a small Bismarck farmer was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to investigate him.Department of Labor employee: I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them.Farmer: Well, there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board.Then there's the mentally challenged worker. He works about 18.
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