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.. his mother was under my care, actually, but died from complications from delivering the litter. My life has changed hordes since then ... all for the better, all because of Samuel. I lived in a tent then, out of work for a year and a half, thanks to the slowdown in aerospace. I sold what few family heirlooms I still clung to in a failed attempt to save his mother ... if only I had known the veterinarian was so incompetent ... but I was out of choices.The Smittes were happy to take a pup, but from the day I gave him to the neighbors across the wall, he kept trying to find his way back to me and my pathetic tent.Never having even been on a date, tired of a world of shallow people, I wallowed in my own misery. Krystal, Samuel's mother, meant more to me than my own 'family.' She licked the tears from my face when I lost my job, she stayed by me through the darkest times of my life ... I thought several times of her as my 'wife,' but never summoned the gall to carry our relationship. I told him that and made sure he got the note. The doctor told me he made sure Carmine read it and understood it. So he knows that Hugo was never part of my or Ruben's life.But he was coming! I was going to be able to see him again and talk with him. I can hope that he will allow me to apologize for my mistakes and for making him go crazy. It was my fault that he spent all those years in prison, away from his life and his work and his son. It was my fault and I had to let him know how sorry I was. I had to tell him that it was never anything he did that caused me to do something so stupid and so selfish. God, how selfish was I? Even now when I remember the way I was thinking back then, it makes me sick to my stomach. Sick and miserable.I wonder what he thinks about me now? Or, if he even does think of me. And did he think of me during all those years? Like I thought of him? How many nights did he fall asleep, his hands holding his erection, wishing it were my hand holding him? As.
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