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In the weeks that passed, my parents tried to limit the amount of pills I took, but it was just as difficult for them as it was for me, because just by looking at me, they could tell how badly I needed them. As expected, my pain increased, as well as the intensity and frequency of my seizures. I stopped sleeping, unable to ever calm myself down enough to relax. As January moved onto February, I finally gave in and quit taking my meds, allowing my body to work the chemicals out of my system and lose its developed immunity.I spent that hellish week at home in bed, howling at the top of my lungs while the seconds ticked by with sadistic slowness. Without anything to even muffle the full stimulation of all my pain receptors, my body was essentially ripping itself apart from the inside out. I couldn’t even tell when I was having a seizure or not, it just all felt the same. Every second, I felt like my flesh was being shredded away by flaming chainsaws while twin lobotomies were performed. I reminded myself the reason for this lunch date, especially in a public place where I’d be apt to be seen by my neighbors, clients, and coworkers: I was building the myth that I was dating mature women around my age so that no one would suspect me of having a romantic and sexual relationship with my daughter.An attractive blonde showed up exactly at noon and began scanning the sandwich shop for a man in a green sport shirt. I stood up so I’d be easier to see, she spotted me, smiled, and came past the other tables to where I’d sat. Unlike many horror stories I’d heard, she looked exactly like the pictures of her in her online profile, only prettier.“Matt?” she said.“Joan?” She nodded and I made excuses, “Welcome. It’s so nice to meet you in person. I’ve never done this before, so if I make some faux pas, please let me know and excuse my ignorance. I haven’t dated anybody other than my late wife for twenty years.”Joan laughed, “You stole my entire opening speech. You’re the first.
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