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As I was tellin’ her, she took my arm in bothher small hands and leaned inta me. When I finished, we sat there for a quiet, long time. Somebody put the money in for a slow song and Annie dragged me off the stool onta the small dance floor. We kinda moved slowly around, not really dancin’. She felt good in my arms. She was about a foot shorter than me but I could feel somethin’ firm pressin’ inta my stomach. She felt so delicate – I was afraid I was gonna break her. She looked up at me and laughed, ‘Don’t worry, cowboy, you ain’t gonna break anything.’ She pulled me tight and we just leaned back and forth with the music. When the song ended, she took my hand and led me out to the parkin’ lot. She looked hard at me and said, ‘Just don’t say a damn thing, Bobby.’ So she got behind the wheel of my truck – I guess she felt I was in no shape to drive – and she drove to her small house a little south of Sabinal. She pulled me into the house and opened a couple of icy cans of Shiner Bock and. There is reason to hope; after a particularly horrible row, our sex life unexpectedly resumed, albeit in a violent, tear-and hate-filled way. I cannot bring myself to write the names Chris called me as he fucked me brutally on my knees, penetrating me crudely and angrily from behind, pulling my hair and slapping me hard on the buttocks until he came noisily.Frightening though it was at the time, the incident seems to have been cathartic for both of us. Given what I have done, I consider the treatment to be entirely deserved and made no attempt to resist.Afterwards he seemed to regret his loss of control and for the first time, we shared a bed all night. We have done so ever since then and, though we have now fucked many times since then, Chris has never been that sexually violent with me again.I hope we are reaching the point where we might actually be able to put this behind us and move on with our lives.The Counsellor – to whom I will be forever grateful – quickly identified that.
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