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I was cheating myself in this relationship, and in any others where I couldn't connect physically, emotionally and mentally. It was also cheating on the other person, because I'd be looking for what was missing with someone else." Have you had any lovers since then?" None. I have had bedmates, but that's not the same. With them, we both knew we were looking for physical pleasure, with no commitment." I've had a bunch of different bedmates too, since then." Elizabeth, what have you been up to?" I've been trying to find someone who could give me some spark, or some real emotional highs. Sex was supposed to be the greatest thing ever, so I tried it. I lost my virginity to a half-drunken lout who jerked himself off with my vagina. After that, I let a few of my dates go all the way. They were all beginners and couldn't even satisfy me physically."I finally found a nice guy who could give me pleasure, and did every chance he could get, but even with good sex I still felt empty and hollow. I expected that he would put his hand under the covers and move my hand away but it never happened and an hour later, his dick still hard, Rose and I got up and went off to bed. I very quietly masturbated that night for sure. Twice.A few nights later, we were all back in bed again. Almost as soon as we got in bed, I raised my knee to bring the covers up so Rose couldn't see and I turned toward Earl and moved my hand right over to his dick and wrapped my fingers around his hardness. Every once in a while, I would squeeze but made sure I never looked at him when I did.Then, Rose got up to go pee and as soon as she was out of the room, Earl leaned over and kissed me with his tongue going in and out of my mouth. Oh, he could really kiss well and we did until we heard Rose coming back.As she climbed into bed, I brought my leg up over him and laid my knee on his dick still holding it with my hand. He moved a bit and slid his hand down his side until he got to my mound and began rubbing me.
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