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I am who I am. If this were not my husband’s hour, if I were not tied to this wooden frame, I would give him a quick squeeze and then push him away, impatient to get about my daily duties. I would be helpless to do otherwise. Knowing different does not make me different. I would be lying to myself if I said that it did.Even now, even as I am enjoying his hug, I am watching the clock, seeing the minute hand drop past the nadir of the dial and begin to climb back up toward the top; toward the minute that I will be untied and be free to climb the stairs out of the basement and get on with my day.I hate that I am thinking about getting away instead of reveling in the intimacy that my husband is pressing on me, but that does not change my thoughts. When someone asks you not to think about crocodiles, then you cannot stop thinking about them. When I have a clock in front of me, I cannot stop thinking about the time, waiting for the time to pass and the hand reach the twelve. Would it be. I spent countless hours in public libraries in a program of self-education in the arts and sciences. I became well informed and I can hold my own in conversations with many professionals regarding their own specialties. In all my research I never ran across anyway to test a woman's fertility without resorting to blood or urine analysis or checking body temperature. For my purpose none of this was tenable.I was sitting in a bar one day nursing a beer. There was only one other patron in the place. I was watching a piece on the television news concerning the use of drug-sniffing dogs at the U.S.-Mexico border."They should have dogs who could sniff out women who were ready to have a baby fucked into them," I said. I was talking back to the television out loud."It's possible," said the other customer who was sitting a few stools away from me. "Dogs right now are being trained to detect certain diseases in humans. The results have been very encouraging. Since every organic compound gives.
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