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Who would dare to try and stop me!There was a knock on the door and I nearly dropped the lipstick."Joe? Joe, what are you doing in there? we've more rooms to finish. Comeon, love!"It was a Mel."Shit!" I said, softly, as though I didn't want to my new, pretty voiceto use such language."Joe!" Just a minute!" I tried to make my voice deeper, but any minute now Iwas going to have to go out there and face the world in a dress, and withboobs. I took a deep breath. It was going to be okay. reach out, open thedoor, smile, shrug. "Guess what, Mel..." Jesus, chick," said Mel, leaning on the doorframe and cradling herlovely, swollen belly. "Did you find a winning lottery ticket with yourname on it in there or something?" What?" You look like the cat that got all the cream, and the mouse. What haveyou been doing? Never mind, is it done? Come on, let's get these finishedoff then you can make me a cup of tea and tell me why you look so bloodyhappy."Which wasn't how I expected the conversation to. “Digli che vorrei offrirgli una benedizione per l’aiuto che ci ha dato. Ed in luna di miele, nientedimeno.”“His Holiness would like to bless you for helping us, even on this, your honeymoon.”I made eye contact with Melody.“Yeahhhh ... I think ... we’re good ... right, Mel?”The look on Melody’s face told me we were not good and that I was about to get blessed or concussed, one or both.“The Pope wants to apologize to you,” she hissed. “You will be gracious about it or else!”“His Holiness does NOT apologize,” said Vincenzo, haughtily. “He is infallible. But he would like to bless you and your marriage.”At that particular point my marriage needed all the help it could get, so I just nodded. Everyone relaxed.“Please kneel before His Holiness,” said Vincenzo, pointing to a spot in front of Georg ... Francis’ chair. And that’s when I fucked up. I didn’t mean to. It just happened.“Excuse me? Kneel? What kind of apology is that?! UNGH! Mel, that hurt!”Mel had punched me in the kidney. She.
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