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” whispered Julia. “Ah-haa... I might have guessed. Which one? Tom... or Jess?” What did it matter? “Tom... Sir,” said Julia. “Yes... again I might have guessed,” said Havers. “That young man is reputed to have the biggest cock in the whole village. Would you agree?” “It... it’s n-not for me to s-say... Sir” Ssllaaappppp! Havers’ palm descended briskly. “Answer my question, girl!” “Yes... yes... I agree...” said Julia.“Uh-hu... so... if you agree, young lady, that means you must have something to compare it by. Or some things. Right?” “Y-Yes... Sir...” “How many?” What did it matter? But Julia paused a little too long before replying. Ssllaaappppp! “Five... five... Sir!” gasped out Julia.“Indeed! A very naughty young lady! And Tom’s was the biggest?” “Yes... Sir...” “And you enjoyed it the most?” “Y-Yes... Sir...” “Naturally!” Haver’s fingers delved and toyed again. “Makes this twitch every time you think about it, eh?” “Y-Yes, Sir...” The humiliation of this ridiculous ‘game’ was. ”Mr. Rogers did not adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.If stupidity were a disability, I know a few people who’d be getting monthly checks... You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I might as well pee, as long as I’m here”.Pharmacist to a customer: “Sir, please understand, to buy an anti-depression pill you need a proper prescription ... Simply showing your marriage certificate and your wife’s picture is not enough.”A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman “Which book has helped you most in your life?”The woman replied, “My husband’s check book”“Political Correctness is just fascism pretending to be manners”—George CarlinMary Poppins, you’re under arrest for Supercallifragilisticsextrafficking.“And with that kiss, Sleeping Beauty woke up at last and immediately reached for the pepper spray.”“Hello, Suicide Hotline? It’s Eeyore again...”He was put into the CAT scanner. Unfortunately, the cat was still in.
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