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You know ... Discover Your Own Potential.But people don't like to talk about masturbation. And worse still, people don't THINK about how complicated it is, or how important it can be to do it right.So I decided to write down some thoughts, so that, the next time you contemplate Wrestling the Bald-headed Champ (if you're a guy) or Paddling the Pink Canoe (for you gals), you can do a better job at it.As my primary pen name suggests, I am not inexperienced with the concept of Battling the Purple-Headed Yogurt Slinger that I was born with. A penis is an interesting thing. Women tell me that, which is understandable, but it's pretty interesting to the owner too.There are basically two kinds, and that means that when you plan on Charming the Cobra, you have to pay attention to which kind you have.If your parents participated in the time honored ritual of having you circumcised, you can Chafe the Weasel if you're not careful. A little lubrication goes a long way toward Changing Your Oil. You totally don't know what today is, do you?"I thought about it for a second and I couldn't help but smile when I realized it was Friday the thirteenth; one fact in particular I found really funny, but I still didn't see any significance to the date. I shook my head."Okay, you'll have to tell me later what was so funny. For now; it's a holiday, three day weekend, no school today ... any of this sound familiar?" Oh! Duh! That's right, yesterday was Columbus Day — the rest of the world still works, but the education system, and the government, shut down if a famous person farted this day in history, and they moved the observance to today so they can have a three-day weekend. I thought traffic seemed a little heavy today; everyone is up for the long weekend. So where are you?" Dallas, we drove for like thirteen hours today. We could have made better time, but Vegas wasn't the only place that got more holiday traffic. I have no idea where all these people were going, but ... and I.
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