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I suppose he's giving me time to adjust before he makes any demands. Before he tries to get his money's worth.So, what does it feel like? I still have two arms and two legs. I'm a human being (or at least a good facsimile of one) not some strange alien beast. I have the weight of breasts hanging from my chest, something I find I'm already noticing less than I thought I would. I'm smaller and lighter, which makes me feel somehow less confident. How do women cope with looking up at men all the time?When I came here, after the transfer, I sat quietly on the bed for about ten minutes. Then I went through to the en-suite bathroom and took all my clothes off and looked in the mirror. Even though I knew what I would see the strange face and body looking back still jarred. I touched everything, every curve and crevice, to find out what it all felt like. Flesh feels like flesh, but the permutations were strange and exciting. I wondered why I hadn't tried this years ago.I found. I never meant for that to happen…not that I’m sad that it did’ he hurried on. ‘I wanted to tell you to your face I…the things I said, I didn’t mean them. I felt so guilty, so I acted like the biggest tosser…I blamed you. I only wanted to take the time to say I was sorry. To admit I was wrong and I had made the biggest mistake of my life.’ he looked down at her. His finger gently lifted her chin so he could look into her eyes. ‘Maybe you should talk to him.’ he said slowly. Alex was so confused! Jamie really did appear genuine about how bad he felt, but didn’t know what he meant with that last remark. She said nothing, just looking at him wide-eyed, suddenly feeling very vulnerable and stupid. Some kind of emotion must have shown in her face, because Jamie continued ‘You obviously have feelings for the guy, I realised before, I was always jealous of Draven, but not because I really thought you were sleeping together. I just envied the closeness you had when we were drifting apart.’.
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