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"Two-way street, remember?" I said. "He's in your head, when he is, but you're in his at the same time. It doesn't go real deep, you have to be thinking about something right on top for him to get it and the same for him, but it pretty much forecloses any idea of manipulation. If he was doing it he'd have to be thinking actively about it and you'd pick it up. He's pretty good at fooling the eyes and the ears, but not your thoughts." Are you sure?" I can't get much surer," I told her confidently. "He had to kind of trick me into doing that surgery, remember? He was desperate, for God's sake he was bloody dying, if he could have forced me don't you think he would? You weren't there when I came down the next morning and found him." Even the recollection made me shudder. "All I could think was I'd been sleepwalking and killed this poor little cat in a horrible way, and for a minute I thought I was some kind of subconscious monster. If he was controlling me none of that would have been. If your parents participated in the time honored ritual of having you circumcised, you can Chafe the Weasel if you're not careful. A little lubrication goes a long way toward Changing Your Oil without Leaving Skid Marks on the Pink Panther.In the Other Hand, you have your just plain generic prick, with all the original upholstery in good condition, and Buffing the Banana in that situation doesn't Strain the Peel at all. As a matter of fact, if you have undamaged goods, too much oil can be a very bad thing when Engaging in Friction Therapy.Just a quick word about acceptable lube for those who need it. When Launching the Tadpoles, don't be a cheap ass and just spit in your hand. If you're going to be Greasing the Flagpole, at least take a little pride in what you put in your hand.Now, once you've decided to Mind Your Own Business, and, if necessary, have acquired the needed lube to Operate the Pump Action Porridge Gun, then technique comes into play.It's not necessary to Beat Your Meat.
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